Where's the me exactly!

To tell the truth there isn't much of me in motherhood. I'm not sure when it happened somewhere in between our five moves, four children and several years as a single car family the me got squeezed out! I guess it started when we first got married and I was immediately pregnant. I worked 60 hours a week as a nanny and my husband was working full time and going to school full time. I was so tired I didn't even make it till he got home before I fell asleep. Then after the baby came, baby wouldn't sleep without me. We were in a new Ward and everyone was older than us. We made friends but it was hard to keep up. I started sewing then for my own enjoyment but there wasn't a lot of time. A year later we found ourselves pregnant with number two, still nannying Kent was still doing the work/school thing! When Kent finally finished school Baby number two arrived and we moved to our own place. I started cooking and decorating it was fun and I enjoyed the things I did for me. Baby number two was a breeze but number one kept me busy, I was called as counselor in Primary at my church and my husband was YM president. The days and weeks flew by. We soon became pregnant with baby number three which also meant we had to move again. We moved just five months after baby three was born. Kent had a new job and right after we moved his car died. It left us as a one car family for the next year and a half. I almost never drove Kent to work because it was an hour away. which meant four hours in total if we wanted the car. I had friends but getting together was almost impossible! I threw myself into cooking decorating and child's play. We entertained a lot at night and life was good.We lived there three years and had just had number four when we decided we needed a bigger place. We moved again Kent got a car, Yay! yet I was now a mother of four and only one of our children was in school It was about this time we realized that our oldest was having trouble. Our whole family was thrown into our oldest's everything.
There was no longer a me in motherhood most of the time my other three were lucky if there was a them in motherhood. It took years to get that straightened out. When we finally got that worked out Kent had to take a second job to pay for all the needs our growing family had. We stopped decorating, entertaining and cooking the things we loved and 12 years, four kids and five moves later there just wasn't much of me any more!
It's easy to get lost over the years. So how do I find my self again? I don't know but now that my kids are in school full time and we are moving again, I am going to find me! I'll write about my experiences here. I hope it's not to scary as I've become somewhat of a recluse in the last few years. Nothing like a fresh start to get things moving though! Wish me luck!